I've been struggling with self-condemnation for a while now. I feel incredibly called to live my life for God and to do everything for him, but as soon as I do something ungodly, I feel so horrible and find it hard to feel passionate about God's purpose for my life. But tonight I realised something, if I am condemning myself, I am belittling what Jesus did for me - He died for my sins, even the ones that I have not yet committed.
It seriously messes with my head - that God had the foresight to know that I will disappoint him, yet through an act of obedience, Jesus dying on the cross, none of my disappointments matter. I actually can't disappoint God, because I am a saint in his sight! Seriously, I think if we can just focus on God's great love for us, then we won't be able to condemn ourselves any longer. Real love is that God loved us first. He chose us before we were even born!
In Jeremiah 29:11, God reveals that he constantly thinks of us, and not thoughts of evil, but thoughts of peace! Therefore, if I can be bold and say, that when we believe that God is condemning us for what we've done, then it clearly isn't from him. Because he doesn't have thoughts of evil towards us! So really, it's completely and utterly pointless to condemn yourself for your mistakes, when it doesn't even cross God's mind, the Almighty God who reigns forever and ever.
Let yourself go, let go of trying to be good enough for God. You are a saint! You are God's child, an heir. Keep God in your sight; let him be your hope. I'll finish up with this, Collossians 3:1-4:
1-2 So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ - that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.
3-4 Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life - even though invisible to spectators - is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too - the real you, the glorious you.